shit SIMON says.
When we post, and repost, reinterpret and remix a joke, we aren’t just spreading it. We are actively creating a culture around that joke.
I laughed the first time I say “Shit Girls Say” with guilty pleasure. Hey, I’ve said a bunch of that shit. Still do. And it gets exhausting to always listen to one’s inner feminista. You know, that small voice inside that is clearing its voice to kick everyone out of the party, to mention the sexism codified in the viral videos. Because once you admit you feel offended, you stop laughing. And when you stop laughing, it becomes much easier to realize they are laughing at you.
These days, my mantra is “don’t take yourself too seriously”. The creed of self-importance and holier-than-thou politics does more harm than good, in my opinion. One person spending three minutes laughing at “Shit Girls Say” is not the problem. But that is not what we are speaking about. A combined 15,000,000 views of this message within thirty days, combined with follow-ups like “Shit Black Girls Say” and “Shit Asian Girls Say” is a radical normalization of the “Woman Are Dumb” discourse, topped up with spin-offs that directly attack intersectionalities of gender and race. What’s that? Oh, right, while also reinforcing gender binaries and employing “gay voice” and non-gender confirming clothing as comedic technique. This is a loot bag from an overrated party tied up in a pretty red ribbon to distract us from the fact that it is filled with chauvinist crap.
Saying this risks me (re)receiving the “overly-politically correct” badge I have been offered by uncomfortable people since 1996 and yes, that still makes my breath shallow. After being a loud-mouth 12 year old, I became a teenager who rarely used the word ‘no’. It has taken me 15 years to return to the uncensored boldness of that voice. They said Fag. I said Don’t say Fag. They said You’re a Fag. That was enough to shut up any closeted girl in grade seven. And it did, for a long time.
Realizing our place within machines of oppression means waking up to our responsibility to act different. No we didn’t build patriarchy. We didn’t manufacture racism, or conceive of ableism. But when we are not working to dismantle these buildings (and even then, for many of us) we are actively upholding these systems. It might seem redundant here to mention, but the responsibility for deconstructing structures of oppression falls with the oppressor, not solely with the oppressed.
For example: As a white woman is it my responsibility to look at my relationship to white privilege and build meaningful allyship in the deconstruction of racism and colonialism. And no, I am not going to add “in my opinion”, or “I believe” to this statement. In my opinion, I believe this statement should be made without any qualifiers.
There have been a slew of “Shit ____ Says” spin-offs that do invert these highly problematic power dynamics of the original set, using the form to call out the issues and ironies of common-talk. unsurprisingly, these haven’t lit up screens with the same speed. There is a pre-existing discourse of dumb blonde-ginger-brunette jokes that gives “Shit Girls Say” a skeleton key into social media psyches, a big production budget and Juliette Mo’Fo Lewis. And in the extension of these spin-offs, many of which are bringing up bold necessary talk, we are collectively creating daily newsfeeds full of videos which depict Women Being Stupid. We, us. Not big cameras and Juliette. Us who press play and hit share. We are creating, growing and maintaining the culture of this joke.
I do not belong to many of the communities who have been portrayed or chosen to create spin-offs. Straight up, it is not my place (or my desire) to deconstruct or judge the need for a dialogue that emerges from a reality I do not face. Just as I would not want such feedback should I choose to launch a “Shit People Say to Bi-Poly-Femme Cis-Gendered Womyn Once Labeled Disabled” video (a title which would confuse a lot of people anyway, and therefore get few views). But as the joke seems to be shifting to movement status, it seems relevant that we remember Media Doesn’t Operate in a Vacuum. Social media, indie media. If it is in our hands to control, they we’ve got am ASAP responsibility to recognize the themes our DIY video is bringing to the forefront. And right now, it’s the message that women speak with the intelligence of confused domestic pets.
